I used to think that math was a piece of cake. Every time my teacher would put a problem on the board to do I would breeze right through it. That was until I hit about 8th grade. Then I realized that I had absolutely no idea what in the world I was doing. Math has never really been one of my favorite subjects, but struggling through the class never helped anything. I would always feel stupid when other kids were like "This is so easy!" Meanwhile, I was hunched over in my seat not knowing anything that was going on. After kids would say things like that I would never want to ask a question because I always felt like everyone else was looking at me funny. I always tried really hard though, even if my grades didn't look like it reflected it. I wish I could be one of those math whizzes, but I'm pretty sure I can kiss that dream goodbye. Usually, I will get really nervous even when the word test is spoken. The sad part is, sometimes I actually know the topics but I get too caught up with the fact it's a test that I forget and then end up looking like I knew nothing. I feel like college grading systems for overall averages aren't exactly helpful because some people aren't good at tests but good at other forms of finding out if the information sticks. I think that projects are a good way to test not only concepts but creativity and expanding the way people learn and understand. But, because this option doesn't usually come up in classes I just know that I have to study really hard and get extra help. It's so hard though to be able to get outside help in the day because with a full course load of classes and outside activities, it's very hard to meet up with a teacher after class. So it also looks like I don't care about it or my grade so that's not good. I have learned that having a good and enthusiastic teacher who loves what they do really helps when grasping concepts and studying. I am learning to study more though and I feel that by being well prepared it will also help to be less stressed out for the class and for my days in other classes. If I allot some extra time at night to catch up and review the material, hopefully that can only help and make me feel better. Overall, I do like math, it's just I would like it more if I was actually good at it. But, just because it's not a strong subject of mine, I am going to keep trying and hopefully my hard work will pay off and then I won't be such a mathephobic person. I hope that one day I will be able to teach my students that feeling scared about math is something that many people go through and they shouldn't feel bad because of it.
